Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Kimber 1911 .45 cal ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do ?
THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN: > > > > > >
Democrat's Answer : Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1 ? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
Republican's Answer = BANG!
Redneck's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! Click...... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points? Son: 'Can I shoot the next one? Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
********Remember, its JUST A JOKE! ************
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Never bet against an old man
The IRS decides to audit an old man, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when the old man shows up with his attorney.The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and nofull-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.
""I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says the old man. "How about a demonstration?"The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay Go ahead."
The old man says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."The old man removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
The old man says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollar s that I can bite my other eye."The auditor can tell the old man isn't blind, so he takes the bet.The old man removes his dentures and bites his good eye.The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous."
Want to go double or nothing?" the old man asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand beside one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
The old man stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss in to a huge win.
But the old man's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands."Are you okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when he told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over an IRS official's desk and that you'd be happy about it."
""I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says the old man. "How about a demonstration?"The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay Go ahead."
The old man says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."The old man removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
The old man says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollar s that I can bite my other eye."The auditor can tell the old man isn't blind, so he takes the bet.The old man removes his dentures and bites his good eye.The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous."
Want to go double or nothing?" the old man asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand beside one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
The old man stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss in to a huge win.
But the old man's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands."Are you okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when he told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over an IRS official's desk and that you'd be happy about it."
Monday, April 20, 2009
Reading #5
This reading talked about visual, rhetorical, and literary analysis. It gave good examples and defined each in terms that were easy to understand. Personally, I think that visual analysis gets rather boring, but, for the sake of the assignment, I read it all. After this reading, I am looking forward to rhetorical analysis that you said we would cover next semester!
Detroit Lions vrs. COPS in b-ball
Thats right, the lions play basketball in the off-time. But thats not the best part. I get to play with them! Its a community event that falls on the 13th of April each year and has been a part of my life for the past 4 years. This year was the most exciting of all three, because they rotated a few more players in and people got different autographs than from previous years. The best part is though, the fact that its more about the kids in the crowd than anything else. These professional players go out in the crowd and choose kids to come shoot a free-throw for their team. This is and will always be a truly enjoyable experience.
Proof? Ask for it, I got pictures...and witnesses.
Proof? Ask for it, I got pictures...and witnesses.
Reading #4
Ah.....information! This is my favorite type of paper to write. In the text, Faigley points out alot of key components to informing. Find, Interpret, Explain and Ask. Very simple and easy concepts. He gives very good examples of each which helps you better understand them. Along with this he gives you tips when you are writing an informative paper. He lists quite a few, but for me, narrowing the topic(something I have trouble doing), keeping it fun, defining key terms, and provide good examples are the most important.
Even though this was the best section of reading I have done yet, it was all review. So, unfortunetely for the book, this is the first time it didn't teach me something. However, I still think it has given me a better understand of the writing process.
Even though this was the best section of reading I have done yet, it was all review. So, unfortunetely for the book, this is the first time it didn't teach me something. However, I still think it has given me a better understand of the writing process.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Reflection #4
A good argument paper starts by being able to be persuasive on a level that is non-confrontational. Getting past the "these people are stupid" attitude is also a key in writing an argument paper. By doing these two things you have already helped build a more effective argument paper. However, doing these things are not easy. You must take into consideration who will be reading your paper and the language that you use to create your argument. One person may throw a fit over a simple word whereas others may applaud you for it. By stating that you understand where they are coming from helps them be less confrontational. In my argument paper I was trying to persuade them to save lives, instead of going through the process of abortion. I was trying to appeal to peoples emotional sides and was not at all attacking anyone. My viewpoint is that before having an abortion, talk with someone about adoption.
Personally I know I could have done better. I had all the ideas in my head, but I tripped over myself by trying to be as unbiased as I possibly could. I don't feel like it was a persuasive as I know it could have been. The only assumption I made was that an educated person would be reading this, or someone who understands both sides of the argument. I feel like I payed attention to the audience, but that doesn't mean that I gave them a good argument. Moderately effective. I know if I spent a couple more days to a week that I could improve it greatly.
Personally I know I could have done better. I had all the ideas in my head, but I tripped over myself by trying to be as unbiased as I possibly could. I don't feel like it was a persuasive as I know it could have been. The only assumption I made was that an educated person would be reading this, or someone who understands both sides of the argument. I feel like I payed attention to the audience, but that doesn't mean that I gave them a good argument. Moderately effective. I know if I spent a couple more days to a week that I could improve it greatly.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Reading Journal #3
This Read assignment provided considerable help to me when I was writing my observation paper. I referenced this section several times before, during and after my paper. This section gives you a step-by-step definition of how to write an observational paper. Once again it helps those who are struggling better understand by giving picture references along with easy to read information.
On top of that it gives significant amounts of detail reguarding taking observational notes. Key points were: Build a strong sense of place, Provide vivid and well chosen details, cread an overall impression, build trust with your audience by being precise and objective and provide visuals if needed. All of those I tried my best to encompass in my paper. Obviously providing a visual aid was tough, so instead I tried to paint a picture with my words.
Overall, this was probably the most help I have obtained for a reading so far. I am glad that I read it before observing and that I referenced it during as well as after.
On top of that it gives significant amounts of detail reguarding taking observational notes. Key points were: Build a strong sense of place, Provide vivid and well chosen details, cread an overall impression, build trust with your audience by being precise and objective and provide visuals if needed. All of those I tried my best to encompass in my paper. Obviously providing a visual aid was tough, so instead I tried to paint a picture with my words.
Overall, this was probably the most help I have obtained for a reading so far. I am glad that I read it before observing and that I referenced it during as well as after.
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